here's to yet another conviction to note everything down
perhaps in documenting, i will remember the meaning that once drove me to
the urgent need i once had to capture every event, express every emotion
before they dissipated into time

i may speak without thinking
and may seem inconstant, changing as billowing winds bring forth sun or thunder,
as churning waves receding to reveal pristine clean sand slopes
and i may grow cataracts of discouragement, cloudy exhaustion
receding into a lone existence through various means,
hiding like a mouse crouched behind its hole,
shutting down the switches in my mind till it is dark

but belief is paramount
i cannot escape from the light, as i cannot escape from the darkness
therefore,
i just can not stop fighting
because neither voices in my head
is more stubborn than the other
and neither is stronger
then the beat of my heart

oh hey! clams and cuttlefish and octopus are high in iron.

photography can degenerate to a lazy form of documentation
but when given proper attention
it can bring so much more depth into it
recapturing a moment in vivid detail
sprouting time tendrils within our heads as we journey through the memory again
and make sense of it through thoughts and feelings

apologies if i spout too much nonsense
it will come in spurts of excessiveness
then immediately caught by reticence
before i can reach the balance

also! the winning word of the spelling championships for a 12-year old is
"jodhpurs"
the poor runner-up misspelled
"gesundheit"

german grammar and words have been steadily seeping out of my mind.
wie heist du? was machen sie? wie lange? wann and what is where, and why?

tomorrow is like a work day
when everyone will go through it for the sake of it
while all our hearts are still sipping away at iced lemon tea by the beach

have stopped baking for a while now
just picked it up again, due to the desire to perfect the classic bread and butter pudding
sometimes accompanied by raisins, drizzled with vanilla sauce
the first attempt was okay, but far from bani's one which really wowed me
bought more varieties of bread to try with
after this period, will start tackling home made bread in loaves,
for preparation for the new kitchen
when i will spam bread, pastries, homemade pies and pie dough
and everything that has egg whites to be whisked: souffles, soft airy cakes, meringues, baked alaska

time to switch off and slip off to sleep
or rather, prepare to slink into the human caterpillar chain
slipping into the flow of deadpan faces, rods rocking with the train, flowing out again
to different trains, or the bright sunshine
bright sunshine! fresh air and lovely nature for a while
before another ticktock of time at a desk

strange how i have been able to keep with feist, florence and perhaps angus and julia/coldplay for so long
especially feist;
old songs spring anew and alive as months pass
and now: graveyard, the bad in me, still inside and out
sometimes i cant believe bon iver accompanies my run