somehow today there is nothing to say and everything to say; silence is jarring but music does not comfort, the moment I taste chocolate I want cheese, the moment I taste cheese I want bread, and there is nothing that satisfies. today has been a good night, managed to spend some time with the sister, and skype with the brother, it's his birthday, and it feels like a good balance of everything, yet something like a vacuum hangs heavily, something like parent's absence from a home, fishes missing from a pond, an empty ice skating rink, an awakening from a dream that spoke of truth.

tomorrow - hours yet, seated, - i -